Finding Confidence as a Female DJ

When I began mixing, I had no idea of the challenges I would face in the coming years. In the beginning, I used mixing as a creative outlet, an escape, and never thought I would play to a crowd. It was purely passion which drove me to start mixing, and it's been the best, and hardest, journey I've been on so far.

I've been able to build my confidence over the years, although it hasn't always been easy.

Coming to university and meeting other DJs was a massive shock to me, all around me were male-presenting people - where were all the people like me? I had never even considered there would be a gender imbalance when it came to DJing, I thought of myself mixing in my bedroom back in London, a creative passion which I kept in a little bubble. Once I started trying to connect with others I felt naïve and alienated.

Confidence VS Competence

I've felt that, as a woman, my competence and knowledge has always been misunderstood. I found it all so intimidating at the start - tracks, labels, ID's, software, USB's, file formats, effects, transitions... what's 'in' and what's 'out', which niche sub-genres was I supposed to like? People I met would try and catch me out - "guess who produced this!? I bet you can't". And I couldn't! When did this hobby of mine suddenly turn into a knowledge contest?!

Where was the passion? Where was the love of the music? I got so bogged down in the technicality of it all, researching labels, aliases and the history of genres, trying not to make myself seem 'green' or 'basic'. It was exhausting.

Now, this is not necessarily a gender issue. However, when you already feel alienated from the majority of your community (in my case the University DJ Society to begin with), the technical jargon, labelling, and niche-ness of it all doesn't exactly help.

So what did I do? I practiced mixing every day, for hours. The more I learnt, the more confident I became. I began to feel less of an outsider and more like I was the knowledgable one. I learnt my tracks inside-out, established my taste, perfected my mixing style, and focused on what I really wanted - which was to be a great DJ and someone who was incredibly passionate and knowledgable about what I was interested in, not what everyone else wanted me to be.

Don't Compare Yourself (or your sets)

Social media can make you feel like everyone else is so much further ahead in their journey. It's easy to compare yourself to others who may be getting more frequent or 'bigger' gigs, but you never know what's going on behind the scenes! Some of the 'smaller' gigs I've played have been my favourites - there's less pressure, usually the promoter is someone I know personally, they let you have free reign over the music, and the crowd is much more open to experimental sounds.

The sets I really enjoy are those that make me feel welcome, like I'm a valued member of the lineup - not just the token female opener...

And this still happens, even now, after I've been mixing semi-professionally for 4 years. I tend to get booked for more opening sets than anything else - I love the sets where I really get to warm up the crowd (when there is a crowd there to warm up!), playing weird and wonderful early breakbeat and acid. Opening is a real skill, and many DJs don't understand the art of this, they tend to go 'all in' and play what they would usually play in any other given time. I love to get the opportunity to play tunes I don't usually play and then enjoy the rest of the night!

I just don't love being the only woman on a lineup and always playing first... (I'll write something on this another time).

Find You Community

I didn't feel any sense of community when I began mixing. It felt like fighting my way through a sea of assumption, alienation and not feeling good enough. As time went by, and I began my vinyl journey, I found a community of passionate, friendly, open people of all genders and experience levels who have all impacted and changed my life for the better. I owe a lot to the DJ community, and I would not be the person I am today if I hadn't found it.

How I did this:

• Open decks

• University societies (I met one of my best friends here, who I mix with to this day!)

• DJ socials

• Organising small mixing sessions with friends

• Putting on events and running workshops

• Starting my own 1-1 DJing lessons

• Local groupchats

• Facebook groups

Final Thoughts

I believe that my lessons can be the beginning of you finding your community and your confidence - connecting with other likeminded people (especially women) in the industry can be so important to personal and emotional development. I speak a lot in my lessons about the challenges I've faced in the industry, how to value your time and skills, and how you should never settle for being the 'token female' on any lineup. All of this begins with confidence, passion and a belief in yourself which can all be found through mixing and the music itself.

I never thought I would be in the position I'm in now, playing sets most weekends, working in the industry, promoting my own events, and all surrounded by a beautiful, supportive community.

Yes I had challenges, doubts, bad experiences, and wanted to quit at points!

But as long as you trust your instincts, and give yourself permission to make mistakes, confidence will follow.